So how come that the persons I want to speak to seem to allude me? Maybe that's why I want to speak to them - because they are not available to me. Let's call these persons Category A.

Whereas, the persons who are available to me - I find flaws with or can't seem to find a reason to get that excited by the attention and development. Let's call these persons Category B.

Category A
So let's talk about Example 1, a person who I've know for quite some time. I would say we've known each other for about 4 years now. We don't really meet that often - maybe once every 6 months for coffee. Example 1 is the kind of person who is really interesting, we get along well and always have interesting conversations. However, I feel a need/have a wish of becoming closer friends than just occasional coffee company. I do try with Example 1, I text and I Facebook but this is often meet with a wall of silence. However, I'm a girl who can take a hint so I don't push it too much. I'll send the occasional message every so often - far and few in between. And once in a blue moon it will be reciprocated with an answer. The last time I saw Example 1 - I actually brought this up. I laid my cards on the table, expressed how I keep in touch with Example 1 but Example 1 never keeps in touch with me. I got the answer that we could do something in a few weeks time and that Example 1 would reach out to me after the visit of this persons mother. What do you think happened? Nothing. Still I send the occasional message and text, and as normal I get absolutely nothing back. I don't know what the deal is with Example 1 and why I can't let it go. Clearly this person doesn't have the faintest interest in me or being my friend. Yet I have a really hard time resigning to the idea that I'm just an occasional Distraction/Amusement in this persons life.

Category B
So on to Example 2, this is a person who is very accessible to me. Who pays attention to me and who will make an effort to come over and spend time with me. I like the company of Example 2 and we have a good time together. We do know each other well and Example 2 does express thoughtfulness and care for me. However, sometimes I find myself wishing that Example 2 was someone else. I can still look at Example 2 and find myself baffled by all the flaws that I can find - like a little hint of selfishness, some level of immaturity and the list could go on. I know that I'm not perfect myself and that some of our mutual history may cloud my judgement. But something that I'm really sick of is the fact that I'm willing to admit my mistakes but when Example 2 does I have the feeling that it is only done to please me. Anyways, I enjoy the company and the attention but something about the situation is leaving me a little bit wary and suspicious.