THE TALES OF LIVING

Blowing Hot and Cold

One of the more annoying things with meeting guys - dating in general. Is the tendency we all have to blow hot and cold. Some do it more than others - but we all take part. From the fully fledged 'pick up artist' to the guy who has read a book called 'The Game' to the girl that follows her own rules regarding how many hours to wait before she texts him or how many dates before she sleeps with him. Or the boy that chases you and then doesn't call back or the girl who sleep with you and now doesn't call you back.

We all do it, despite our best intentions. We all send mixed messages. No one is ever truly 100% a truth-telling straight shooter. I like to think I am, I'm sure that there are many of us who like to think that we are, am I right?

But let's study the facts - there are certain situations where even I can look back and hold my hands up and agree that indeed I do blow hot and cold like the best of them.

Honestly, we all do it in the first stages of dating - if we are really keen on someone that might be hard to confess to. Yes, we still show that we like them and are keen but really if they straight out ask you how much you like them - you would probably play it down. You don't know that person too well yet and it would make you feel exposed and vulnerable.

Truth be told - this level of hot and cold treatment, maybe not the worst of it but still. Same thing when you're dating someone and you have that gut feeling letting you know it probably won't work out. But there is no concrete proof, so you go along with it a bit more just to be sure since he/she is perfectly nice. That is kind of in a indirect way blowing hot and cold.

So no matter how good our intentions are - we all do it more or less dependent on our level of truth-telling straight shooting. Finally, at the moment I'm going through a period of blowing hot and cold with myself - it's a one woman head game.

To be continued...

A reflection on guys

So this is song lyrics, from a Swedish song, translated to English - I think that the reflection of guys in it speaks for it self:

Sweetheart, who is he the one who's sleeping in your bed?
Me and Dad, we've been wondering, we've talked, we've thought
We want you to know that we care no matter what has happened
But does he work? Does he even have a high school credits?

I myself have some experience behind me
You decide for yourself, but you should also know what we think
So he's working with music? Is it really a profession?
He should be studying law if you are looking for safety

He might have been sitting in jail, what happened to your confidence?
He might be doing drugs, you may be co-dependent
Aim at the top otherwise you may end up with
that you leave your husband at a nursing home for his sexual addiction.

I have read in the tabloids when visiting my hairdresser

About that David Beckham so I know what his kind of does

But you hear Sweetheart now you let go

For I am Herbert the great safe wolf

Say, have fun Sweetheart but choose no lawyer

Choose someone who loves you and who always will choose you

That would sell himself and swallow poison to satisfy you

Here's the song

Phone book Baggage

Have you every thought about how many people that you don't speak to that are in your phone book on your mobile phone? People you don't ever call or text. People that you don't even know that well, that you might not even like or that you may even dislike.

I've been going through my phone book today and deleting contacts:

Someone from university I haven't spoken to in 2 years? Deleted

Someone I met in a bar and then never saw again? Deleted

Old work colleagues that I don't like? Deleted

Those old friends that I never hang out with? Deleted

That one night stand that I'm now ignoring? Deleted

The boy I kind of liked but who's playing with my head? Deleted

Friends of friends that I don't hang out with anymore? Deleted

That guy that took me out on a horrible first date? Deleted

All I can say is that it's quite refreshing - feels a bit like a spring clean. I know I don't really want to reach out to these people so it's fine I don't need to carry their numbers with me in my pocket every day of my life.

Done and Dusted.

Nettle Tea

I just bought some nettle tea.
It smells like hay.
It takes like warm hay.

But I kinda like it.

Long lost friends

Someone I haven't spoken to properly in years have just reached out to me - it's strange in a way it makes you wonder what goes through their head when they think "I think I'm going to talk to this person now after years of nothing"

Clearly something must have happened in their life to make them reach out? Normally there is a reason why you don't speak to someone: your drift away because one of you for some reason doesn't keep in touch or show any interest.

In this case I know it wasn't because of me. So it must have been on his part, I have my ideas of why he might have stopped talking to me also the fact that I fled The Homeland could have help in us growing apart.

But he's decided out of the blue to visit London and come and stay with me - for a few days. So I guess I'll have time to ask him about why we haven't spoken in years then.

First Dates

So I went out on this innocent but dreadful boring first date and all I could think was

why am I putting myself through this?

Secondly I thought to myself, about the last boy I kind of dated:

That for a second you could have had me so easily

If you just would have wanted me enough

I could have been yours

But I wasn't

And I'm not the kind of girl that will dwell too long about it

So I'm just going to shrug my shoulders

And next time

Next Time - I won't pick such a boring first date!

The wolf whistle

As girls may know, every once in a while when walking past a construction site or even just a stranger on the street - one will get some kind of whistle/attention/comment.
Let me just start by saying that this normally doesn't happen to me, when I say that I mean at all
But the last few weeks there have been some incidents:

Incident 1:
Walking out of the estate that I live on (for those of you who don't know what an estate is click here), going to my friends engagement party I cross paths with a guy. This conversation follows:

Him: Hello gorgeous, where are you going?
Me: (Still walking, talking over my shoulder) To an engagement party.
Him: I hope it's not your engagement party!
Me: No, it my friends.
Him: I'll see you around
Me: (Keep walking towards the bus stop)

Incident 2:
In Tesco, getting my lunch - walking towards the cashiers tills

Him: Hello, how are you doing? (Sheepish smile)
Me: (Looks confused and keeps on walking)

Incident 3:
This morning, walking out from my estate when a guy on a bike passes me (not the same guy as incident 1)

Him: Good Morning Beautiful! (keeps biking past me)
Me: (Smiles quietly and keep on walking towards the bus stop)

So the question is, why does this suddenly happen now? Yet never happened before? I credit a new pair of high heeled boots that I like wearing and possible the fact that I've gotten slightly addicted to my curling iron.
The other big question is which approach to these types of situations is the best on to have? Incident 1, 2
or 3?

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