Last few weeks I find myself, when my thoughts are wandering on the bus or wherever. I find myself think of something that has happened - something arbitrary like a passing conversation with a flatmate or how I dropped my keys trying to open the door or how I passed someone on the street that had on a interesting looking jacket.
Whatever little incident - and whilst I think about it - it takes me about 5 minutes to realise that it has never happened and that I'm just remembering/having a flashback to a dream.
It really freaks me out. It reminds me of a scene from
Fight Club, I don't have insomnia probably the opposite of it but still:
With insomnia, nothing is real.
Everything is far away. Everything is
a copy of a copy of a copy.
- Fight Club
I normally have control in my dreams: free will and the understanding that it's a dream. My nightmares are always the dreams where I can not control the storyline or where I don't understand that it's a dream. This déjà vu feeling that I have: thinking back to something that happened in a dream and being convinced that it happened in the real world. It is is a new occurrence in my dream habits so it's really quite strange.
It feels almost like taking a step and realising that you're off balance, almost making me doubt what is real and what isn't - if just for a few minutes.
