I have realised that I keep doing something now, when it comes to guys - that I didn't used to do before...

As soon as I meet someone who could potentially be interesting. You know, those first few times you meet someone and you are mentally sizing them up. That little moment where a spark might ignite leading to romantic feelings later on. I find myself in those moment, thinking of reasons as why I won't work out if ever I would be in a relationship with that person.

Talk about jumping 50 steps ahead of time. Here as some examples of when it has happened lately.

Example 1
I met a guy at a friends birthday party. He is the housemate of another friend of mine making the whole situation a bit awkward. These are the reasons my brain thought of in less than 20 minutes:

•  He lives with one of my friends - there is no point of starting anything up because it will end in an awful situation of "he said - she said" in no time at all.
• He has just started his university studies and I am just done with mine - we are in different stages in our lives and having dealt with that in relationships before I am not in favour of it.
• When I went to the bathroom, coming back he was just as interested in the next girl as he was in me - clearly if he is not that interested than why should I be?

Example 2
We work in the same building bur for different companies. He seems really enthusiastic in person and even asked my email address so that I could send him some music suggestions. These are the reasons I have come up with so far:

• We work closely together - what is the most important to me right now is my new job and I would not want to put myself in a position where I am viewed as unprofessional
• He works in a child oriented field and I am not really a child person - looking at this long term it could be an issue
• He seems really keen in person but has not responded to my email, but did apologise about it the last time I saw him because he's been on holiday/been really busy - if he is not that bothered than why should I be?

Example 3
This is a guy that has come in to my life quite unexpectedly, but as I get to know him more I keep finding reasons as to why it will not work out:

• He wants a job where he wants to travel and live in loads of different places - what is the point of starting something up if ultimately I will expected to sacrifice my career or him?
• I find myself wanting to be someone else around him - I keep wanting to be more put together around him, which is never a good sign. It indicates that I feel like I am not enough for him.
• I don't know his relationship status - it could be awkward finding it out, as we will see each other multiple times every single week for the foreseeable future. It is a sticky situation and I don't feel like I want to jump into that.

So I guess that this behaviour could be psychoanalysed to death. I would say that it was to do with 3 factors:

• My last relationship
• My tendency of over-analysing and my mind working at million miles an hours speed
• Maybe I am just not ready for new relationship.

Ultimately, it just seems like I am really good at shooting myself in the foot or shutting something down before it happens.